Girl Dumped Me and Never Spoke to Me Again

Today I'm going to show yous the three most prevalent thoughts that your ex is thinking about if they don't contact you.

It's probably also relevant to mention that each of these three things that I'grand going to talk well-nigh today are based on my experience as a coach and founded on honour winning research (more on that in a minute.)

So, if you've ever wondered what is going on in your exes mind when they don't contact you expect no further.

Your answers are below!

What The Heck Is Your Ex Thinking Nearly When They Don't Contact You?

In all there are iii thoughts or overlying concepts that are going to exist very prevalent in your exes listen if they don't contact you,

1. The Pendulum Swing
2. They Accept To Contact Me First
3. The Height Terminate Dominion

At present, I don't look you to understand whatever of these concepts. In fact, I'd be shocked if you did because exactly one tertiary of the answers are from my own findings and I haven't actually talked most it that much.

But I'm rambling.

The rest of this commodity is going to exist very straight forward.

I'thou going to define each of these concepts for you.

Let'due south begin with my personal favorite.

one. What Is "The Pendulum Swing?"

Earlier I start getting philosophical I'd like to inquire y'all if yous know what a pendulum is?

No?

Well, rather than take me sit down hither and explain it for yous it's probably meliorate if I evidence it to y'all,

Essentially it'southward something that swings from left to right.

Mostly you'll see a lot of physics professors using it to explain one of newtons laws just I really recall it's the perfect analogy to describe what goes on inside of someone when they go through a breakup.

Pretend for a moment that the pendulum really was an indicator for how you lot were feeling internally after a breakup,

On ane side of the spectrum (the left side) you accept all of the bad feelings y'all could be feeling,

• Acrimony
• Resentment
• Depression

And on the other side of the spectrum (the right side) y'all have all the proficient feelings that you could exist feeling,

• Missing your ex
• Loving your ex
• Wanting to get back together

Most of my clients would kill to take their exes experience this way well-nigh them.

Speaking of clients, one common complaint I hear from them about their exes is that they wish they didn't get all of these mixed signals.

One moment their ex is asking them something like,

Exercise you lot e'er think about getting back together?

Nearly implying that they exercise want to get back together and and then the next infinitesimal they can't get a response from them. They are left in that awful limbo land.

The pendulum explains what is going on in this instance.

Over the years I've witnessed an interesting blueprint taking identify.

Exes tend to go through a pendulum of emotions after a breakup.

Where one moment they start feeling good,

And the next moment they start feeling bad,

Information technology's during these "bad moments" that y'all'll find that your ex doesn't want to talk to you.

Interesting to recall that in that location is this internal boxing going on within your ex, isn't information technology?

But if you lot doubt this concept exists I'd like to plough your attending to your own experience with breakups. Yous've probably experienced this pendulum of emotions, haven't you?

And then, that is the first thing going on in your exes caput subsequently a breakup that would cause them to not contact yous.

Let'south move on to another common thought I see a lot of the time.

2. They Have To Contact Me Outset

I desire to prove you something.

Agree on for a moment while I expect it upwardly…

Ah, there it is,

This is a motion picture of me taken about 10 years ago a few weeks afterward I had been through a breakup.

Expect how atrocious I look.

I'yard kidding!

Anyways, I posted this movie considering every single time I look at it I think of that break upwardly.

I recall very clearly I had a mantra,

At that place is no way I'm contacting her kickoff, she is going to contact me

I'one thousand pretty stubborn.

I am a taurus after all.

Anyways, my ex was pretty stubborn too which meant that we were in the midst of an ballsy stand up off,

Possibly the most interesting thing was the reasoning for why I wouldn't contact her first.

Ten years agone I was xviii years old.

Which meant that I wasn't exactly the most experienced with relationships. It likewise meant I yet bought into this idea that afterwards every break up there is a winner and a loser.

And in my heed I'd start to "lose the breakup" if I reached out to my ex.

Therefore, she was going to have to talk to me get-go if she wanted to talk to me.

Yous're dying to know who contacted who first, aren't you?

Information technology was her.

She was actually very clever in how she approached information technology to.

You meet, in 2008 Hurricane Ike striking my hometown,

I grew up in a little place called Friendswood, Texas which is very close to where the video in a higher place was taken.

Anyways, the Hurricane went over our firm and she reached out to check on me and make sure I was ok.

To this day I have e'er regretted how mean I was to her when she reached out. You run across, upon seeing that I was "winning the breakup" I got very arrogant and said something like this to her,

I regret it because I think she was merely trying to be nice but "winning the breakdown" was more important to me at the time.

Anyways, I am telling you this story because I want y'all to meet how seriously some people take this concept of making y'all reach out first.

And information technology could be going through your exes mind if they don't talk to y'all.

3. The Tiptop Cease Rule

The peak-end rule has been revolutionary for my volume readers who have really embraced it.

Why?

Because it gives yous insight into how homo beings think and human action when they recollect experiences.

So, what is "the peak-end rule?"

Put merely, human being beings recollect experiences based on how they felt at the superlative of the experience (it's most intense part) and the cease of the experience.

In other words, when we call back back to experiences we don't business relationship for the sum of it's parts we account for more often than not those ii parts.

It looks a footling like this,

Those two snapshots of time brand upward the bulk of our retentivity when we think back to the experience.

And so, what does this take to do with your ex not contacting yous.

Well, it'due south actually an extension of what I talked about above with the pendulum.

If you recall, the pendulum moves from left to right, from bad to good.

The peak-cease rule describes the motivation for why the pendulum moves.

Consider for a moment that your ex is remembering your time together and they get-go thinking about the superlative,

The tiptop of your feel together is arguably the strongest and well-nigh heady part to recall about.

Most likely it's going to cause the pendulum to swing to the right,

A few days later your ex starts to remember the finish of your human relationship,

This of course causes the pendulum to swing to the left as they recollect how bad they felt at the end of your time together,

Do y'all encounter how these to concepts work together in tandem?

Do you see some of the motivation behind why your ex may non want to talk to you lot?

It's pretty crazy, correct?

Permit's practice a quick recap because I dropped some avant-garde stuff onto your plate that I normally only save for my clients.

Conclusion

What we talked most today is pretty avant-garde so I'm certain there will exist a lot of questions in the comments. If you didn't already know I answer all of my comments personally.

Sometimes I'thou a piddling wearisome about getting back to people but they practise get answered somewhen.

So, don't hesitate to enquire a question if something confuses you.

Let's do a quick recap,

• The are three prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to think about if they don't contact you
• The pendulum
• I'yard not going to contact them first, they'll have to contact me outset
• The peak end rule
• The pendulum is simply an analogy for the trajectory your emotions take after a interruption up
• Adopting a mindset of "they'll accept to contact me offset" is an case of stubbornness
• The peak terminate dominion describes the motivation for why your exes emotions run a risk trajectory later on a break up

Again, if you have whatsoever questions don't hesitate to enquire them beneath.

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Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-is-your-ex-thinking-if-they-dont-contact-you/

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